How do you define joy?
This month in the Empowered Women's Health Community, Erin and I have been talking about reconnecting.
Last week we spoke about "who the fuck am I now?"
This week we spoke about "Finding that awesome chick again"
The main feeling we were searching for when looking for that awesome chick was joy.
I realised that as I *cough* age somewhat, my perspective on joy has needed to change.
I have been through mountains of grief - losing 3 close family members in 16 months to cancer, lockdowns closing my business twice, letting go of staff that I loved working with and finally giving up my 2 clinics that I poured my heart and soul into. On top of that, there was IVF (losing the ability to fall pregnant "naturally") and adjusting to life as a Mum of two.
You might think where the hell do you find joy in all of that?
I always thought that Joy had to be a big emotion, high energy and loads of laughs. When you carry that much weight of grief, it's hard to find any energy for joy.
But recently I realised I have been finding joy in a gentle way.
With all my driving back and forth to Sydney, I have found joy when I see beautiful sights. The mountains and vineyards as I travel through Mudgee. The immense space overlooking the Capertee Valley near Lithgow. And the cool little historic villages I'm putting on my list to visit when I have more time to stop.
It started when I was travelling alone and spur of the moment I turned into a lookout to admire the view. I felt this warm feeling inside that I didn't expect. It was so damn beautiful.
I have also gained a passion (or maybe slight addiction) to buying plants and pots. I have started filling up my front verandah. I have no idea what I'm doing other than putting plants in dirt and adding water but I love it. The boys love helping me, especially when it involves a watering can.
I also love putting down my phone and watching my son at his swimming lessons. We only started 3 weeks ago and he is so confident. It brings me so much joy to be present for that.
And my funniest moment of joy was the mindfulness of using a pressure washer on the pavers at my mum's house. Just moving that hose back and forth, watching that dirt disappear was so rewarding.
So next time you are feeling like you have no joy left in your life and no energy to create something big, think about what else brings you joy, fills your chest or belly with that warm feeling and keep doing that!
Try new things. Let go of old things. Most of all remember it can be gentle.
If you would like to join our conversation on reconnecting or be part of our regular chats, join our free Facebook group - Empowered Women's Health Community
Categories: Women's Health